Thoughts

My heart is full to the brim with love. You can really feel that, you know? It kind of feels like I'm on the verge of crying, or something like that.

I know she won't be like this for long. So I will love every bit of it while she is.  

This is my favorite little face. I stare at it many hours each day, and I find myself falling in love with it more and more. I can already can tell she's growing. I love her expressions, her perfect tiny features, her wide eyes when she's awake, her infant-like irregular breaths when she sleeps (although those also make momma very nervous), and the way I feel when her eyes meet mine. She's a perfect blend of me and her daddy. She's perfectly Farrah.

THESE are the days. The days I dreamt about as a child, the days I hoped for as an adult, and the days I couldn't wait for as a new wife. I'm here and it's amazing. I touched every inch of your face while I held you near and rocked you back to sleep, for the hundredth time today. I hope you always know my love for you.

I love how it's you we get to greet each morning. I love that it's you we get to care for and hold every day. I love how it's you we get to kiss each night. I love that you are you, Farrah.

I'll always remember the days I prayed for what I have now.

I never ever want to forget these days. The tiny baby who was so new I was afraid I wouldn't recognize her in a group of babies, having to turn on the vacuum to get her to sleep for her newborn photos, and even the postpartum blues and the tears and the needing my husband so badly and probably sleep too. One of her newborn photos remind me of Baby Jesus in the manger. Thank you, Jesus, for the baby in my arms.

Are we supposed to talk about our biggest fears? Is it normal being scared to even mention them? There's something that came instantly with parenthood for me other than Farrah herself. It's a fear of losing her, in any shape or form. The book "Love You Forever" has been a favorite in my family for years and as I sang the song to Farrah this evening, I had to revise it. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, for ever and ever, my baby you'll be." Not only for as long as I'm living. I can never be without her. Nor she without me and her daddy. Her siblings too. God, please protect our family, forever and ever. Amen. ❤️

Oh my. How I am going to love every new season, new holiday, new adventure, and every new day with this girl. Playing in the leaves on a warm November day was the bee's knees.

I really truly cannot explain how I feel as I see you grow and change and learn new things. I almost can't bear it. I am so very proud of you as you grow, but baby, momma absolutely loves you as a baby. As much as I am embracing these stages, I'm also having a hard time seeing them pass. Maybe this is just my favorite stage of them all.