20 - 22 Weeks!

We are half-way there!  The weeks fly by so quickly, especially with the holidays that just passed.  I feel huge - and I'm definitely larger at 20 weeks than I was with Farrah, by about two weeks or so in my opinion.  I have a hard time catching my breath every once and awhile, and lately I've experienced a sharp pain in my inner thigh and hip that radiates into my back.  It was so bad the other night I could hardly walk.  It was better by morning but then it happened again a few days later.  I dread getting dressed and my wardrobe is very minimal right now.

I am feeling her kick especially when I lay down for the night.  I really enjoy this time.  My days are so hectic so for a brief moment each evening or when I first wake up in the morning, I get to think about and focus on the new baby girl.  I can begin to feel the kicks on the outside, but I also can tell when she is about to kick and where.  Nobody has had the opportunity to feel it themselves yet, except for Keane once.

We got to see our littlest one for her anatomy scan at my 20-week appointment.  Farrah was less impressed than I hoped she would be - and she was confused why her sister looked a little black on the sonogram.  But the baby looked great, although the ultrasound tech was terrible.  She was the same one I had previously in this pregnancy, and I even called to request someone else for this one.  My heart sank when she showed up at the door and called my name.  She didn't share the heart rate or the size of the baby.  I found out that my placenta is in the lower front on the right side and it wraps around my right side.  My doctor said that it won't be in the way for a c-section.

Of course there are a lot of things the tech needs to find and measure, but she doesn't give the parents a show at all.  Toward the end, I was beginning to get frustrated that she hadn't really shown us the baby at all.  I asked her if, when she was done, we could just watch the baby for a few minutes.  I'm glad I asked, because that was my favorite part.  We could see her long legs kicking my insides, and I could feel it each time!

At 22 weeks, we are nowhere near a name yet.  My favorite name is Nova and Keane suggested Grace.  I have been having some Braxton Hicks contractions that I know I didn't really have with Farrah.  It can be triggered from being sick or dehydrated, so I am drinking more water and I am also on the recovery from over a week long cough/cold that almost completely drug me down.

I don't have a lot of energy and I'm starting to desire to nest a little.  I really want to get the baby room ready, which really only consists of bringing in a crib to Farrah's room, and possibly some painting and redecorating, but it's such a small room that I don't think there's any reason to crunch until closer to the due date.

We are still in the process of finishing our basement - the walls are all studded, all the water lines are switched to a newer Pex material, and the can lights have been hung.  Keane has to hang the remainder of the lights and run the electricity, and Andrew will then be back to hang sheet rock and mud.  Then we need to paint, have carpet installed, and hang doors and trim!  It's up to Kylie if she wants to move downstairs to the second bedroom down there or stay upstairs in her bigger bedroom for now.  If she moves downstairs, I will move Farrah to the bigger bedroom, and if Kylie stays upstairs, I will make the second downstairs bedroom a playroom for the girls and it will help clear out some space!

It's really neat to see how much the new baby looks like Farrah!  I'm getting more anxious to meet her, and I am really anxious to decide on a name for her.  I'm really looking forward to holding her, worrying less, and seeing how the family adjusts to fit just one more life in our lives.  

I have gained 10 lbs so far and the heartburn may be beginning.  Otherwise, my symptoms have been pretty minimal.  I feel her move quite often and Keane was able to feel her last night several times (22 weeks, 2 days).  

2018 Resolutions: Simplicity, Joy & Contentment

New Year's Resolutions are always fun to me.  I think it started when I was young and my parents had me and my sister write ourselves letters to open and read the following New Year's Eve.  It's fun to look back on where I was emotionally and personally a year ago.

This year, my goals are pretty simple.  They are to simplify.  To say no more.  To be still.  To do less.  To have more simplicity.

It derived from the fact that I am always on the go.  I was proud that I could finally go and Farrah would happily tag along and look forward to our many adventures, our multiple trips to several stores, and planning our days to fit in all the errands we possibly could in order to still get to our final destination in time, usually picking up the big kids from school or sports.

Christmas season got the best of me because we didn't have a lot of gift ideas going into it, so we were last-minute searching for, ordering online, and picking up at stores gifts for one and all.  It has also been tremendously cold the last couple of weeks and it is painful to go anywhere.  Plus, I'm now almost 21 weeks pregnant, with a 2 1/2 year old talkative and needy toddler, as well as two pre-teens who we proudly have much more now than we used to.

Regardless, I am exhausted.  Therefore, I am making the changes that I can.  There will still be weekly, if not daily, necessary and inevitable trips to be made, especially while the kids are in school, but I am reducing the number of times that I run to Dollar General or Walmart or any other store to pick up a few things.  I am saying no to a lot of less important things that I was happy to say yes to previously, such as picking up donuts, saying hi to this friend or that friend, or whatever else I found to do.  I am cancelling our monthly P.A.T. meetings and I am simplifying.  I need more peace and solitude, at least for this season, and in preparation for the next.

I am meal planning and hoping to get groceries weekly or biweekly, and I am going to look into the grocery store pick-up options that I have been hearing about.  I am going to buy and spend less.  I am also not going to let this year's Christmas get the best of me.  I am going to plan ahead on all things upcoming (birthdays, holidays, vacation, baby, etc.), and keep myself sane.

I am going to hone in and embrace Simplicity, Joy, and Contentment.

Bring on this new year.

Now, to recap on how I did with last year's resolutions:


1. To Appear Like I Have My Sh*t Together - I think I did pretty good about that.  I don't feel like I'm falling apart each day and at every outing.  I've been able to bring less for Farrah, and I got my hair cut shorter and simpler, and my attire is quite small so I can easily choose an outfit that I'm satisfied with.

2. Fancy Up My Home - I have not tackled any projects that I had hoped to, although, a huge project has been undertook, beginning the day after Christmas -- our basement (or soon to be downstairs)!

3. Thoroughly Embrace Motherhood - I feel good about this.  Farrah wouldn't allow me to not embrace her every waking moment anyway, ha.

4. Master Anxiety - I still don't have any time to relax, so I've learned to manage or make-do, or take advantage when the big kids are there (which is more now than it was last year).  I ask them to help me more, and I do keep up with the laundry and dishes so I'm never feeling bogged down by the mundane chores.

5. Increase my Prayer Life (Possibly Build a War Room) - I pray the same as I always have.  I don't have a special room, or time set out to pray or be with Jesus, but I talk to him and pray to him often.

6. Tap Into My Inner Child - I sing loudly in the car with all the kids which makes them laugh, or dance at home.  I try to laugh a lot and sometimes sit and play with Farrah and her baby dolls and toys.  Keane and I went on a bike ride for our anniversary, and we went roller skating for McCoy's 6th birthday party!

7. Have At Least 6 Dates with My Husband - I doubt we have gone on 6 dates, sadly.  We have went on a couple, but usually we have at least Farrah with us.

8. Be Prepared for Holidays in Advance - I did decent until Christmas.  The big kids didn't have any requests and it was so hard to come up with ideas on my own for them or our families.  I. Need. To. Do. Better. At. This.

9. Improve Work Attire - In May, I got a new job with a business casual dress code, so I was able to decrease my work attire, honestly.  It's been nice.  I can dress up a little, or dress comfortably yet cute, and it is acceptable.

10. Focus on the Happy - I do the best I can.  This age of Farrah's has made me feel the most overwhelmed.  She talks, a lot, and wants, a lot.  She always wants someone to play with her, get her more milk, answer all her millions of questions, etc.  All the while, I am working part-time, cleaning the house, preparing meals, helping with the garden, helping (or simply joining) Keane on the farm when I can, doing all the pick-ups and drop-offs, running errands and grocery shopping, sometimes for Keane's parents as well, trying to keep up with the Brooks Farm finances, making sure everyone has clean clothes, bathing and feeding and dressing and entertaining Farrah, and still somewhat taking care of myself...and it all has become a lot.

I am happy and I think I exert happiness most of the time.  But when it's the end of the day and the family is asking that I bake cookies, sometimes I just want to hide away and tell them to never ask anything of me again.  I don't though, and I usually don't make the cookies that night either.  But I try to the next chance I get, or I'll make brownies instead.  I love my life and my family and I am so very thankful for all that we have.