Update on Life

I got my hair colored in a balayage style.  I am going back again to get it lighter and less brassy.  While I got my hair done, Farrah got to spend a couple hours with my dear friend Anna and her kiddos, Silas and Alva (Farrah calls her "Alvie").

During a rain storm the other day, Keane and I heard water dripping above our bedroom in the attic.  Apparently water was leaking around a pipe in our ceiling (an easy fix), but our roof had rotted around a dormer above our front porch.  Keane took a day off work and patched it up!  He's quite handy like that!

Last weekend, we got lucky and got a mid-60 degree day in the middle of winter!  Kylie had a basketball tournament two hours away, but Farrah and I stayed home to save everyone in our family from four hours on the road with baby Farrah.  We started our day with a list and conquered most of the items.  They included swinging for as long as Farrah wanted (but after an hour I had to call it quits) and go for a walk/stroller ride.

(She's ready to ride in the boat this summer - she didn't know what to do with her legs!)

Farrah came down with another cold that led to the start of a double ear infection and a sore throat, and with that came a pretty high fever that stuck around for a little while.  I picked her up a little early Monday from daycare and kept her home Tuesday (went to the doctor and got antibiotics) and Wednesday.  We spent a lot of extra time snuggling and being clingy, and I was able to appreciate motherhood in the aspect of caretaking and understanding and nurturing.  It takes extra patience, but it comes so easily when it's your child and you can tell by looking at them that they aren't feeling the best, and that there's nowhere they'd rather be than on your lap.

(She didn't want to take her sunglasses off at the doctor's office)

(Talking to Dada on the phone - Helwhoa?)

She has been saying love you back to us, and her most commonly said phrase right now is TinkYou, Mommy.  Over and over again, every time I had her something or help her do something - so sweet, so perfect.  She also says So Sorry and it breaks your heart because usually she shouldn't even have to be sorry - haha.  She is quick to run and get her toy vacuum when she sees Mommy get her vacuum out, and she bursts with giggles and laughter when Daddy gets home and plays with her and tickles her and flips her upside down.  She loves to help Daddy check the moo's wa-wa.

Farrah is beginning to play with my hair and in those moments I come to the conclusion that this - this is what we have children for!  It feels amazing.  Her little hands are my favorite.  Never a dull moment.

I Hope She Knows...

If something ever happens to me, I want Farrah to still know me and my heart's desires. So I hope she knows...

I seriously couldn't possibly love you more. You'll understand some day when you have a baby of your own, but it's surreal the amount of love I feel for you. You are SO perfect. I hope that you can always look in the mirror and know that your momma knew without a doubt, you are the world's most perfect girl there ever is to walk this earth.  I hope you can see in every picture of you, that your momma would see the prettiest girl she's ever imagined or ever laid eyes on. 

I love that you look like me and your dad both. I don't know why, but I was so sure you wouldn't look a thing like me, until you were born and it was obvious to me that it is inevitable - your baby looks like you. 

I hope you have my best qualities, and your dad's best qualities also. I know you'll develop your own, too, and I know they'll make you even more amazing. I hope you have my gentleness, my ability to understand and forgive, my patience, laughter, and kindness. I hope you have your dad's charm, lovability, sense of humor, hard work ethics, drive, and passion.

If I die young and your dad remarries or brings another woman into your life as a mother figure, I hope you can love and accept her. I hope she talks about me and encourages you to do the same; I hope your dad always talks positively about me and tells you the things he always loved about me and the silly stories we laughed so hard about. I hope he still shows you and tells you that he loves me, forever and ever. 

I hope you know it will make it easier for her if you look up to her, confide in her, desire to be around her, and learn from her. I hope she encourages you to be the best you can be, redirects you when you start making choices that aren't ideal, and teaches you how to be a lady, fashionable, with manners. 

I hope you thank God for me every night when you lay in bed just as I do for you, every single night. 

I hope that you take in God's beautiful earth and allow yourself to slow down and appreciate time and each phase of life that you are in. 

I hope you know that friends and boyfriends will come and go, and all that remains is you, so be the you that you want to be and love. Please be proud of yourself and don't change to accomadate to others. But please be open to changing to better yourself, and realize there is always room for improvement. Always look inside yourself first and make sure there's nothing you can do better before you complain or ask someone else to change something about them.  Always ask yourself if you are praying about something as much as you are complaining about it.  God will come through, I promise. 

You will find someone who loves you for you. Don't think that you have to search your whole life for that perfect guy, because the guy who is perfect for you may be right there, baby. 

I love you and when things get rough, talk to your dad and others in your life. Talk to your aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas. Listen to stories and remember that stories aren't just stories, but they were once the present and real time and we actually experienced those times and felt and loved and laughed and cried.

When you are down, please know that my love remains and I would have done everything in my power to be there holding you during those times, and during your times of happiness and bliss too.  When you're down, baby, get your tits up, get 'em up, get those tits right up (my favorite quote from the movie Bad Moms)!

When you were a baby, loud music really soothed you, whether it be in the car or when I'd rock you and sing lullabies very loudly. So turn up the music and belt it out. Listen to records and appreciate the music. 

When others don't completely agree with your choice of boyfriend or friend or opinion, chances are I would encourage you to explore and make up your mind, encouraging you make the best decision in the end.  Please be open to the idea that the reason you feel like nobody else understands or agrees, may be because they have experienced the wrong decision before, or because they can see something that you cannot, or see it from a different perspective, so please be willing to hear what they are saying and take a moment to consider that they may know better, as hard as that may be to accept.

Your Aunt Kimberly already asked if she can be there when you are picking out your prom dress and planning for your wedding and having babies.  She probably knows me more than anyone and she would be an amazing person to be there with you, by your side, loving you all the way.

I love you, Farrah Oakley. You are my pride and joy. You are the answer to all my prayers. You be you, baby.

Farrah at 18 Months

I want to remember Farrah the way she is right now.  So exhausting, yet so full of love.  She says Farrah cutely.  It sounds like far-uh.  She has also been saying mum for mom.  She calls Keane's nipples apple (pronounced opp-ul), and she has been calling her babies babydoll (pronounced beebeedoll).

She loves to rub Lambie on the bottom of her feet as she falls asleep, and she will push him down to her feet when she's laying in her crib.  She still requests a pacifier at night time and at times while in the car.

She loves to dance.  As soon as Keane picks up his guitar, she's out on the dance floor (aka our living room or kitchen floor, whatever she's feeling at the time), and she instructs Mama? to join her, and we dance our hearts out, spinning in little choppy circles, and holding hands and I'll swing her about.  It's pure joy, and I'm usually ready to stop dancing before she ever is.

She is started to know some of the songs I sing, such as this lullaby my mom always sang.  She interjects the words she knows a little late, and I love it:

PINK = Farrah

Close your eyes, and EYES go to sleep,

Close your eyes, and EEYYYYES go to sleep.  

Mama loves you, MAMA, Daddy DADDY too TOOOOO.

She is always ready to holp (help) and when we mention going somewhere, she will run to grab her coat, hat, or boochs (boots).  She loves to put her boots on her by herself now.  She may have to ask for help, but prefers to do it herself.  She'll set them in front of her and slowly, holding onto a table or object nearby, slip her feet into her boots.  She has been putting her coat on, at least one arm, by herself now too.  The other day we wanted to ride with Keane in his truck so I was hurriedly getting our things together and I just sat her boots down and the next thing I knew she had them on - I was thoroughly impressed!

Her and I went for a ride in Daddy's truck to check the water at the other farm the other day, and she wanted to holp him, so the two of them went to the water tank while I watched from the front seat, and it was the cutest sight.  She was bundled up and so intrigued in what he was doing.  She's so tiny, yet she thinks she is so big.  I saw her looking way up to her daddy and they were talking, and this is such a new stage and I am in love with it, the way we can talk with her, and she takes it all in.  Everything.

She knows a few colors, specifically pink, blue, and orange.  She was choosing to sit (and slide across the floor and reposition and move again) in a pink chair rather than all of the blue chairs in the waiting room at her 18-month well check appointment at her new doctor's office the other day, and a lady overheard her saying pint (pink).  The lady asked how old she was and was surprised that Farrah knew her colors already.

She also says poot for pooped, and it's kind of cute, and it's also nice when she lets me know right away and runs to her room for a diaper change.  She walks backwards sometimes and also on her tippy toes.  She is always helping to wipe with a white (wipe).  She really picked up saying tank you when you hand her things.

She has 16 teeth now!  She weighed 22 lbs, 13.5 oz (48th percentile) and was 32.5" (63rd percentile), with a head circumference of 46 cm (38th percentile) at her 18-month check up.  She didn't have to get any shots (already had gotten her flu shot), but did have to get tested for lead by having her blood drawn and that was terrible, especially the preparation for it.  She sat on my lap and I held her arm, and the lady said we both did very good.  She got a bright pink band aid and we got DQ ice cream afterwards!  She's in size 5 diapers and wears 18 month or 2T clothes!  She goes to bed around 9:00 p.m., sleeps through the night, and sleeps until 7:30-8:30am.  She usually requests to eat as soon as she wakes up, and she asks about Daduh, Keedin, and Kylyle, and then the kitty.  She gets her chair and moves it to the coffee table to eat, and usually asks to watch *growl* (Daniel Tiger).  When she is wondering where someone or something is, puts her hands up and twists them inward as far as they'll twist.  She usually takes one nap a day around noon or so, depending on our day, and sleeps for 2-3 hours (hopefully).  Other than the times she is sleeping, she is full of energy, going from playing with one thing to another, always ready to be chased or tickled or paid attention to.  She has the best deep giggle.

(wiping off the seat so Mama could sit next to her!)

My 2017 New Year's Resolutions

My 2017 New Year's Resolutions:

1. To Appear Like I Have My Sh*t Together

We'll see how long this one holds up, but you know those moms who appear to have their sh*t together?  Their clothes are all clean and wrinkle-free, they smell nice, their makeup looks great, their hair is cute and clean, they have a smile on their face, and they have one little purse or bag that has everything they need in it...no matter the number, age, gender, or mood of their children.  I'm not usually that mom.  I am dropping paci's, looking for Lambie, stuffing receipts back into my purse, and digging for hopefully one single penny for my daughter to put into the money slot at the checkout line.  I thought trying to have my sh*t together may be a little harder than just appearing like I do, so we'll start with that.

2. Fancy Up My Home 

I want to always update and decorate our home until we are happy everywhere we look, and I'm not to that point yet.  If I set goals, I'm more likely to get things done, rather than if I just generally decide to do something.  So, my first goal is to paint and decorate our Master Bathroom, and I'm really excited about it!

3. Thoroughly Embrace Motherhood

I've done a really great job so far with this.  As Farrah is getting older, her demands are changing, she hollars for me the moment I leave her side (she's the Stewie Griffin who hollars "Mama, Maaammma, Mom, Ma, Mama...), she knows exactly what she wants and needs it at that moment, i.e. play with the water in the sink, take the lid off the sippy cup so she can play with it, take off the baby doll's jammies, etc. etc. etc, I have to remember sometimes to get back into the mindset to stop worrying about the few dirty pots and pans that can wait to be washed and spend time with my daughter.

(Keane embracing fatherhood.  He swings her longer than he wants to swing her, she tosses her up more than he wants to toss her up, because she loves it and these are the moments that we'll miss the most.)

4. Master Anxiety

My goal is to stay on top of stress.  To not let it prevail.  If I begin to feel stressed because I really do want to wash the dishes in that moment, when the house keeps creating a mess of its own somehow, when my schedule seems to have me on the road more than at home or with my family, or when we are out of groceries and making a meal plan or a simple meal for that matter seems exhausting, I need to find a way to relax whether it is to take a hot bath, read a book, watch a movie, or have my own quiet time.

(perhaps some ice cream will do)

5. Increase my Prayer Life (Possibly Build a War Room)

I read the book and watched the movie War Room recently.  I have also been encouraged by my sister a lot to really improve my prayer life, and I have a lot of improvements that can be made from the mere bedtime prayers I try to pray each day.

6. Tap Into My Inner Child

I never want to lose my sense of wonder.  I am vowing to do some things that bring out the child-like laughter and spirit in me.  I want to go on an adventure, have a movie night in a fort, jump on a trampoline for hours, camp out on the trampoline, go for a bike ride, or perhaps go roller skating!

(a cute picture, just because)

7. Have At Least 6 Dates with My Husband

Once every other month, at the very least, is not too much to ask.  We really enjoy our time together.

8. Be Prepared for Holidays in Advance

It seems like each year, I am always telling myself that next year I want to be more prepared for the holidays, specifically Christmas and birthdays.  I can't handle last minute planning or shopping, and I want to have gifts purchased a month or more in advance.

9. Improve Work Attire

Simple, yet important.  I specifically need new work coats/jackets and hope that a little at a time, I can improve my collection of professional work attire.

10. Focus on the Happy

Sometimes life feels stressful, and I want to remember to focus on the good.  We oftentimes have to share holidays and weeks and weekends with the big kids going between our home and their moms, and we drive and arrive to their schooling, sports, or social events without them and/or leave without them, or we miss out on important things they aren't able to tell us right away or aren't sure how to, but I want to embrace what we do have: the times that we do have with them is special and we always make efforts to do fun things, have projects, work hard, earn money, make memories, play games, and have good quality family time.  I want to focus on those things.

 

---------------------

We celebrated my family's Christmas on Saturday (New Year's Eve).  I had a great time giving and receiving gifts (I got a letterboard, dustbuster, baked goods and a sleeping-bag style blanket made by my momma, a gift card, socks, and a toothbrush from my parents and brother, and a cocker spaniel ornament with Tanner's name and years engraved, a paid haircut and color, Glennon Doyle Melton's second book, and a makeup eraser from my sister and her family), enjoying a delicious and beautiful brunch hosted by my momma, and then some of us played the Escape Room board game (Kimberly gave to Kollin, and my parents gave to Kimberly!).  Then we ventured to our home to bring in the new year.  My brother spent the holiday with his girlfriend, Brooke, but then he joined us afterwards since we stayed up playing Cards Against Humanity until about 3:00am!  We shot off a potato gun after midnight, and we all hugged and clinked our glasses, and happily welcomed 2017.  Farrah even was awake to bring in the new year; however, McCoy feel asleep about 45 minutes before midnight.