Rockabye Baby

Every night now Farrah tells Daddy nigh nigh with hugs and kisses.  Then she stalls.  Extremely.  She instantly remembers she wants to eat more, or drink milk, or watch Roar (Daniel Tiger) in mommy and daddy's bed, on our pillows, with us laying next to her.  But when we finally cut all her glorious ideas off, her and I go into her room, shut the door behind us, and I'll read her a book or two of her choice, and then we'll turn off the lights and I'll rock her.

Last night I wanted to freeze time, so this is how I do that - I write about it so when I go back and read about it, I will be taken back to these times that I cherish so very much.

Farrah has to have her baby doll under her left arm, Lambie under her right arm, and one of her four pink and white Anais and Anais swaddle blankets covering her.  She always lays her head on my right shoulder facing away from me.  She tucks her little feet under her and I feel her freshly cut, sharp toenails rubbing on my inner thighs.  She rubs her feet just like her daddy does.  She moves her hand while flopping Lambie's hand around.  Over and over.

I will tell her I love her and through her pacifier she will say Lud you.  I will sometimes talk about the day we had and explain what tomorrow will bring.  She will sometimes request certain songs: EIEIO or tops (rockabye baby in the tree tops) or beep beep beep (wheels on the bus).  I have to sing that same song over and over.  Until her breathing turns heavy and steady, her hand and feet hold still, and the heaviness of her sleeping body can be felt on mine.  I love the moments she is falling asleep.  I hug her tightly, rub her back or hair, and whisper how much I love her.

These times of rest and peace and bonding and quietness and cuddles with my baby girl will never be forgotten; I never take them for granted.  I allow myself to fully soak her in and be thankful to be her mommy and to be right there in those moments.

I always pray that God will keep her alive and well, and happy and healthy.  That nothing bad will ever happen to her.  That God will protect her with his very best angels.  That she will always know how very loved she is.  That she will sleep well, with sweet dreams, and wake up well to begin the next day.