Christmas Thoughts & Gifts

Christmas feels different to me this year.  Everything seems to be going the same: decorations and a tree shortly after Thanksgiving, Christmas jammies for the babe, Christmas music to fill my heart with joy, and gift-giving plans in the works. 

But this year, I feel different.  I feel bad about the pagan holiday traditions.  I tried reading about it and it just confused me more.  As I am raising my ever-learning daughter, and putting a lot of thought into what and how we are teaching her, I have confused myself about what is this Christmas holiday that we put forth so much energy on?  I have always loved Christmas, the spirit of Christmas, the feeling of Christmas, the gift-giving nature and element of surprises of Christmas, the cooking, dinners, desserts, family gathering, adorable attire, and I could go on and on. 

But an unknown large man dressed in red and fluff.  Flying reindeer.  Jingle bells.  Elves.  Trees and lights inside our house.  Gift wish lists.  What is all that?  And how do I explain that to my daughter who looks to us for guidance and explanation?  Not quite this year, but all the years to come.

Christmas is supposed to be about Jesus and celebrating his birth.  However, I was reminded that I grew up believing in both Jesus and Santa, and it didn't ruin me, and I'm not upset about those beliefs as a child.  I never want my child to miss out on exciting childlike fantasies and surprises, and I would never want my child ruining the fun for others.  Therefore, Farrah will be taught both Jesus and Santa, but I will strongly teach and encourage the Jesus story and meaning.

Maybe as she grows up, we will start traditions such as the Money Jar or giving gifts to represent the celebration of the King Jesus who was born on this Earth for us.

Even so, Christmas was wonderful this year!  We had the kids for Christmas Eve so we treated it like Christmas morning, and it felt just fine!  Luckily and sadly, Kylie found out about Santa this year, merely five days before Christmas!  She saw a singer she admires on social media saying something about how maybe her parents are the Tooth Fairy, and so Kylie asked her mom, several times, if she was Santa, and after her mom replied that she didn't know, and Kylie kept prompting a truth out of her, they discussed it with Kaden.  I could tell that Kylie felt grown-up and proud to know, more than she was disappointed or anything.  I can admit, it will make the holidays a little easier with where Santa delivers presents and with them not having to ask for the same gifts from both parents anymore (and receiving multiples of gifts).  They promised to keep Santa alive for Farrah, though!  So, both Kaden and Kylie believed until age 11.

Farrah received a kitchen set and absolutely loves it.  She plays so well with her pretend wa-wa (water), getting glasses from the sink and freezer door, washing her dishes with a white (wipe), using an oven mitt when things are "hot," and pushing pretend "beeping" buttons on the microwave.  She didn't really care to open any other gifts, although she got a couple small ones (a Farrah puzzle, Snackeez cup, Nesting Dolls, Bubble Guppies DVD, pretend makeup).  Kaden's main gifts from us were his mounted antlers, a money safe, buck knife, wallet, shirt, NF coat, survival book, and bow stabilizer.  Kylie's were her mounted antlers, a bluetooth speaker, ukulele, nail dryer, NF coat, book on hair styles, another book for girls, makeup, and some clothes, specifically skinny jeans.  From their mom, Kylie also got a Kurio watch and Kaden got a virtual reality (VR).

I got a beautiful Mother's ring as well as nude booties, a honeysuckle woodwick candle, a necklace from Farrah that says "First my Mother, Forever my Friend" and a bin 8 kitchen utensil set.  Keane and I both bought Hell or High Water for each other on DVD!  I also got him a coffee pot since he complains about my Keurig, a rustic mail holder, a new radio, AE undies, and a grow light for veggies.

We went to Keane's family Christmas on Christmas evening, and we will be getting together with my family this coming weekend since the weather prevented my sister from coming home the weekend prior to Christmas!

Lindsay came home from Arizona to surprise her parents for the Christmas holiday so I got to see her a few times while she was home, including an evening that Lindsay, her friend Matt, Julie, and Howard came over to our house and we had a lot of food and played Cards Against Humanity all night!

Youth Hunting 2016

Kylie got her very first buck during youth season this year!  She got it the morning of Sunday, October 30.  After being patient and letting his sister get a deer, Kaden got himself a nice 7 point on Sunday, November 13.

Here are some other photos from their time deer hunting!

Halloween 2016

Halloween was really fun this year.  The Sunday before Halloween, the school in our district had a trunk or treat that I took Kylie and Farrah to.  It was perfect for Farrah, short and sweet (literally), with a few little games she could play.  Then we trick-or-treated to Keane's parents and my parents.

Farrah was an Indian and Kylie was a burglar (not a cat burglar she will tell you!)

Saturday, I took the kids and met my mom at a Halloween parade (my brother was in the marching band), and that evening we had a Halloween dinner and movie night.  Our first of many years, I hope.  I made a zombie lasagna, garlic bread bones, salad with carrot pumpkins, and a bloody cherry chessecake!  I bought a Goosebumps movie with Jack Black and it was pretty perfect for Kaden and Kylie.

Monday after work, Keane and I took Farrah trick-or-treating to a few houses, and I think Farrah was over it pretty quickly but it was a lot of fun!  And the big kids got more candy than they will probably eat.

One and a Half Years Old

Farrah at 18 Months.  So. Much. Fun.

I tried to count the number of words Farrah is saying.  I came up with roughly 78, but she is always adding new words and she is starting to repeats words we say.  She says silly things, like she changed Dada (pronounced Da-duh) to Da-tah for weeks, and this past weekend she started adding "uh" to the end of most of her words: Mommia, kitty-a, eata, baby-a, Lambia.  Some of her most used words are eat, Mama, Daduh, home, hop (help), kitty, and baby.

She loves babies with all her heart, which I did too as a youngin'.  She pretend puts her babies to sleep and feeds them in a toy highchair and feeds them a bottle and pats their backs.  It's really all very sweet.  She likes to find her bootchs (boots) and pretend to go 'side (outside), and does it with a smile on her face knowing that it's too brrrr (cold) outside most of the time.  Sometimes when we get in the car, she'll start asking home? and when I tell her we aren't going home yet, she'll keep asking with a smile just to make me laugh.

She follows me around the house, loves to put on makeup with me, hang out in the bathroom with me, and play with me.  She still adores animals of all kinds.  If she sees any animal at all, in person or on TV, she will point and smile and announce what they say.  She knows a lot.  Pants for dogs, meows for kitties, baa, moo, neigh, gobble, etc.  She was eating a chicken nugget the other day and said "bok."

She refuses to sit in the bath currently (she has some pains and I think she associates bath water with the pain).  She loves to play in the water at the kitchen sink, though.  Pouring and dumping the water, asking for a new bowl (aka cup) to play with.  She loves to color and write (left-handed).

Eighteen months have brought with it the beginning signs of the terrible two's.  These tantrums.  They usually happen when she's frustrated because she can't get something done she's trying to do, or when she can't express what she's trying to say.  We have been placing her into a timeout corner to try to calm down, and hopefully with time we can teach her to control her anger and temper, and direct it positively.

Lately I've had moments or days when I feel the overwhelming feelings of parenthood.  One particular day last week, I felt like I lost my shit.  She came down with a fever so I kept her home the following day and when she started rubbing her ears (and complaining about her eyes), I made an appointment the following morning to see a new pediatrician.  While having to tell my boss I was going to come into work after Farrah's appointment, I finally got her into her appointment after going to the wrong doctor's park to begin with and having to call to get their new location.  When we were finally in to see the doctor, Farrah kept pointing to the door and saying "bye bye" practically the whole time, the pediatrician said she had oncoming double ear infections and prescribed her an antibiotic, and a Nystatin cream for what may be a yeast infection that the antibiotic would only exacerbate.  We went through the drive-thru pharmacy and was asked to come back in 10-15 minutes so we made a quick stop for Christmas gifts while we waited.  When I returned to the line, I noticed I was only provided with the Nystatin.  I did a U-turn and went back through the drive-thru to be told that was all that the doctor sent.  I found a parking spot and called her doctor's office, and they said they would call the pharmacy and figure out what happened.  After waiting a few minutes, Farrah getting practically an entire chocolate cookie on her plain white shirt, my boss texting me about making up work days and asking if I'm at the office yet, and getting back into the drive-thru line, I got the antibiotic and headed to her daycare.

On my way out of town Farrah dropped her paci and Lambie which I couldn't reach, but Farrah was being demanding.  I had been fighting back the urge to just say f*** it and call it another sick day and go home and hide away from the world, but I resisted.  Instead, I pulled over into the nearest parking lot, let out a hollar, collected Lambie and all paci's I could find, and got back on the road.  When Farrah asked for her paci by putting her finger in her mouth (?), I calmly and nicely said, "Oh, your paci?  Sure babe!  Here's your paci!" with the biggest smile.  I'm pretty sure Farrah froze.  "Lambie," she asked.  "Oh, of course!  Here's Lambie, sweetie!"  Farrah was confused with my change of attitude.  "Mil?" she asked.  "You want your milk, honey?  Here you go!"   Then I hear, "uh oh."  I saw her smiling ear to ear, and she had dropped Lambie, her paci, and her sippy cup.  She was testing me.

I laughed so hard out loud, and kept laughing, and she started giggling.  That was exactly what I had needed at that moment.  I was able to appreciate what all I had been doing and for who, and it made the world of a difference.  Now, after I got her to daycare late for her lunch and while all the other babies were trying to nap (that is until Farrah cried her normal huge cry as I drop her off) and explained the administering of the Nystatin, I walked out and drove off with the cream, got a call from one of her daycare teachers letting me know I left with the cream and had to turn around and bring it back!

It was exhausting, but as parents we will go to the far ends of the Earth for our babies, and I would do it again and again every day.  I hope in time I'll have my shit more together, or at least appear to!

(First snow this year)

(When her baby is *holds her nose* stinky...)