He was 14.5 years old, and as every bit as lively in his latter years as his puppy days. The last several days of his life, however, he was slowing down. I could tell. He always, always, joined for every 4-wheeler ride or trip to the lake, and in his last week, I ended up giving him a ride back home on the 4-wheeler due to his slow pace and seemingly difficult trek. And then the last trip I was taking to the lake, he didn't want to join. He remained under the deck and although I did go back to get him and made him come along, he partially followed and ended up going his own path much shorter and closer to home.
Yet it was still hard to face his passing. My jovial four-legged buddy died in his sleep on the porch he loved to relax on.
And rather than remembering his final days, what resenates in my memory is his long and wonderful life we shared.
He loved running and exploring. He would yipe from excitement when he spotted a rabbit to chase back into he brush. He helped Keane locate a deer by quickly following the blood trail, making him a hero in Keane's eyes that day.
Although he was a pain some days when he brought trash out into the front yard time and time again, ate green tomatoes from our garden, followed us up and down the gravel, or on the mower or the tractor, jumped in our lawn chairs as soon as we got up, wanted any and all food he could get a whiff of, and dug holes in the yard...he will always be my beloved pet.
He used to be snippy when he was a pup and especially when he was on a chain in town, but he mellowed out in his older years. I think Farrah sensed my care for him and favored him a bit herself too. She would hollar "Tanna" each time we would go to her swing in the backyard. One time she pointed to Rudy and then to Tanner. I named the dogs as she pointed and then she sped up her finger from one to the other, so I sped up my words, "TannerRudyTannerRudy..." and she laughed so hard, making me laugh. It became our new thing.
The day he died, Keane and the bigger kids made a cross, and Farrah and I picked wild flowers for him. I told Farrah we were going to tell him goodbye and when I laid the flowers on his grave, she waved goodbye.
I am happy to know he lived a happy, fulfilled life. He used to love to go for rides when he would go to the groomers. He used to act embarrassed right after his hair cuts because he felt so naked, but he was so adorable!
He swam in our lake often and loved it. He used to swim the entire width of our 10-acre lake, and he swam out to retrieve a muscrat for Keane once.
He came with us to the woods when we cut wood and he would run and sniff the entire time. Once he was running ahead of us and there was a big creek up ahead and we knew he reached it when we saw his body disappear and his long ears fly up in the air, only to see him scamper up the other side and take off again before long.
He reminded me of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh the way he held his head down when he walked and the way his puppy eyes looked upward. I loved when we would just collapse when Keane would point his finger at him to signify he needed to stay.
I don't know if there's room in my heart to love another dog like I do Tanner, and although I know there likely is, he will forever be the light brown cocker spaniel puppy I begged my parents for and finally received. He grew up with me and I miss him dearly. I miss how he would always greet me when I stepped outside, and follow me every step of the way to and from the vehicle, or wherever it was that I was heading. He would sneak into the garage to lay at my feet, even when Keane had told him to get out. He was my buddy, and his loyalty to me never faltered.
I was uncertain if pets go to Heaven but my mom told me to believe that God loves our pets who we love enough to take care of him after their life here on Earth, so I do believe that Tanner is in Heaven swimming, chasing rabbits, wagging his little bobbed tail, chewing out the squeaky part of dog toys, eating delicious foods, and waiting patiently to see me again someday!
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